Letters to you, my love.

Do you ever think about me? Lately I think about you all the time. I wonder what you're doing, what makes you happy, what makes you sad... If you're as tired as me of being alone. Some days I don't even know how to go on not knowing if we will finally cross paths. To be honest, I'm scared that you might be too far away to find you, or too close to recognize you. What if we already met and for some stupid reason we didn't see the big picture? Because you weren't as tall as I pictured you, because I didn't have the supermodel figure that most guys dream about? I don't know. It scares me to my very core, to think that either of us could have overlooked the other because this shallow world might have clouded our vision. But well, against all odds, I still have faith. I trust that someday we will finally meet and we will start a long road full with anecdotes to tell our future kids. Of the time we decided to go camping without any of the two having the proper experience to do so and ended up fighting over the last cookie while soaking wet because we didn't consider the weather as a factor of risk in our trip. Or of the time we started a duel with the next door couple at a wanky hotel for who would have the hottest, loudest sex, and we won (well, maybe this is not an appropriate story to tell our kids). Or of the time we went to my parents cabin to celebrate our second anniversary and in the coziest night, with a full thunderstorm rumbling outside the window, you got down in one knee and ask me to spend the rest of my life with you. And how I laugh cried for about 5 minutes before been able to compose myself and say yes. All of this, the crazy stupid love story, the willingness to fall madly in love with the man that life saved for me, the conviction that we are going to find each other, is what keeps me going. I'm not giving up on you, not yet. I've been waiting 30 years, and I will wait 30 more if I have to. Although I hope I don't have to. Lately, I'm getting this feeling that you're actually close to me. Disguise, distraught. Wandering around and coming to terms with your life choices. Looking for me in the faces of all the girls you come across in a daily basis. Waiting for a sign of the universe. Longing for the same love I deeply crave. For now, let me blow you a kiss and I'll keep dreaming of my head in your chest, of your heartbeat in my ears, of my name in your lips when you kiss my hair, of our fingers intertwined when walking down the street. Of your smile, so sweet that it makes me smile. Of your eyes that brighten up when you look into mine. Of your arms over mine when you hug me from behind. Of all of you, so handsome and so mine.