Dear God:
I know you're somewhere out there. I can feel you on the tip of my fingers, in the sound of my voice, in the color of the sky. I need you, big time. I need to rip him of my heart. I need to go back to a time when I could laugh without pain and feel without the need to slice my wrists. I need to know that there's a future without all this bitterness. I asked you for a guy who would change my life. Maybe I wasn't clear enough. What I wanted was a guy who could change my life for good. Somehow I ended up with a boy who has indeed changed my life, but not in a good way. I have lost pieces of myself trying to find a path next to him. I bared my soul to a kind of demon that is capable of making me sick to my very core. Somebody who has drained the life out of me. That's not what I asked for. I wanted a Jace, a Stark, even a Peeta or an Edward. Please God, listen to me, because my life is running away from my fingers. I can't bear this anymore. Please sweep him away from my life, from my heart and my soul. It's too much to take in. Please God, just please...
