Letters to you, my love.

Do you ever think about me? Lately I think about you all the time. I wonder what you're doing, what makes you happy, what makes you sad... If you're as tired as me of being alone. Some days I don't even know how to go on not knowing if we will finally cross paths. To be honest, I'm scared that you might be too far away to find you, or too close to recognize you. What if we already met and for some stupid reason we didn't see the big picture? Because you weren't as tall as I pictured you, because I didn't have the supermodel figure that most guys dream about? I don't know. It scares me to my very core, to think that either of us could have overlooked the other because this shallow world might have clouded our vision. But well, against all odds, I still have faith. I trust that someday we will finally meet and we will start a long road full with anecdotes to tell our future kids. Of the time we decided to go camping without any of the two having the proper experience to do so and ended up fighting over the last cookie while soaking wet because we didn't consider the weather as a factor of risk in our trip. Or of the time we started a duel with the next door couple at a wanky hotel for who would have the hottest, loudest sex, and we won (well, maybe this is not an appropriate story to tell our kids). Or of the time we went to my parents cabin to celebrate our second anniversary and in the coziest night, with a full thunderstorm rumbling outside the window, you got down in one knee and ask me to spend the rest of my life with you. And how I laugh cried for about 5 minutes before been able to compose myself and say yes. All of this, the crazy stupid love story, the willingness to fall madly in love with the man that life saved for me, the conviction that we are going to find each other, is what keeps me going. I'm not giving up on you, not yet. I've been waiting 30 years, and I will wait 30 more if I have to. Although I hope I don't have to. Lately, I'm getting this feeling that you're actually close to me. Disguise, distraught. Wandering around and coming to terms with your life choices. Looking for me in the faces of all the girls you come across in a daily basis. Waiting for a sign of the universe. Longing for the same love I deeply crave. For now, let me blow you a kiss and I'll keep dreaming of my head in your chest, of your heartbeat in my ears, of my name in your lips when you kiss my hair, of our fingers intertwined when walking down the street. Of your smile, so sweet that it makes me smile. Of your eyes that brighten up when you look into mine. Of your arms over mine when you hug me from behind. Of all of you, so handsome and so mine.

Twin soul

As usual, it’s late and I can’t sleep. My mind is definitely lost in the thought of you. Of where you are, what you’re doing. If you’re sleeping next to the girl that will make my insecurities and jealousy come up in the future. Or if you’re thinking about me too. Of where I am and what I’m doing. If you’re getting jealous thinking if I’ll be with someone else. I wonder how long will it take for us to meet. People say that good things take longer to come. I’ve been waiting 30 years for you, so I’m guessing you’ll be pretty damn good. For me, at least. I picture you somehow like me: messy hair, definitely in a bun (but if you’re bald, I’ll love you the same), a gentle looking face, with a hint of mean but not too much, clothes that fit comfy even if they’re not as flattering as they could be. I imagine you strong-willed and stubborn, so we will be able to have big debates about life changing events, get mad when we can’t agree on something and then make love to peace out. I also think you’ll be nice, but not a push-over, gentle, but with a strong grip to grab my ass, sexy in ways that other people will not see. You’ll love tv and movies as much as me, so we will cuddle while watching Netflix on the couch, starting movies and letting them halfway because we can’t keep our hands off each other. You’ll have a dirty mind just like mine, but that mind will also be focused on our future together. You’ll be the serious, more grown up part of the relationship and I will be responsible for keeping the fun going. I’ll crack a joke for you when you’re feeling low, and you will drag me out of Forever 21 when we’re walking on the mall and you know that I’m broke as hell. We will definitely be happy together. If we finally get married, our wedding is going to be epic, but not in the sense of spending a whacky amount of money on it, but because it will be something to remember until the end of our days: we’ll get married in a forest (like squirrels do), everybody will be dressing up light and with soft colors. I’ll be barefoot, you’ll be barefoot, and everybody else will be barefoot. The grass will be soft from the dew of the night before. I’ll wear a soft white dress, my hair will be down and flowy and I’ll wear a crown made of white flowers. Nothing overly complicated. You will dress in whatever the fuck you want, because it’s your special day too. Our dogs we’ll be definitely present in the ceremony. We will laugh, we will make our own vows and we will cheer with the people we love, which won’t be many, 25 people tops. Well, maybe a little more. At the end, this is my promise to you: I love you. I have loved you for a while now, and I will love you even more when you come to me. But I need you to come to me. Because I feel my heart ripping apart every day that I’m not with you. I miss you. I need you. Not to be happy, but to share my happiness with you. I love you, and I will love you more than anybody has loved anyone ever. Because I’ve been in love with you since before I was born in this life. Because you are my twin soul, and we have been together since our beginnings in any realm. I love you. Please find me, or let me find you.

Inefable

Vos y tus ojos que me hablan. Que me piden que me quede y aun así me alejan. Vos y tus manos tan mansas. Que me tocan y de repente se arrepienten. Vos y esos labios que se me antojan. Que me invitan a morder y luego me apartan. Vos y ese cabello, luz de la mañana. Que me provoca enredar mis dedos sin ninguna clase de desapego. Todo vos sos inexplicable. Inentendible. Apretujable. Pero mas allá de tu físico, yo quiero acariciar lo que llevas dentro. Tus sueños bajo la almohada, tu forma de decir te quiero. Quiero que sean míos, sin dudas ni desconsuelos. He estado esperando por vos desde mis primeros recuerdos.

The good woman

She's not the kind of person that you're looking for, she knows. Her hair is not red, her nails are not black, she doesn't wear shorts shorts or fishnet tights. She's not the bad girl anymore. She's the good woman. The one that is actually perfect for you. The one that will help you to be a better man. The one that will hold your hand when you feel like crying because the weight of the world is too big for your shoulders. The one that will make you chicken soup when your soul needs it. The one that will make everything better with just a smile. The one you take home, introduce to your parents and eventually marry. The one you want your kids to call mamma one day. But for now, you don't know that. You only see the flaws: the hips wider than the average, the stomach that is not flat enough. You're not even sure if you want to take her to bed because you're afraid she might turn clingy and intense. Her hair is not red. Her eyes are not green. You want waves crashing and cars turning and blood pounding. She looks more like smooth sailing and holding hands while looking at the sunset. But there's something you should know: if you would let her, she will calm your demons down. She will settle the chaos in your heart. She will be life smiling back at you. She will welcome you home.

El hombre que tiene un alma que no puede contenerse en una jaula

No hay evidencia de que existas. No tengo ni una foto a media tinta, ni siquiera tu numero para enviarte un texto de bajas intenciones cuando la noche se apaga pero las ganas se encienden. En mi cabeza tenias un nombre prefabricado. Pero revoloteas en mi mente a diario, horas, minutos, segundos. Pienso como se vera tu cabello en la primera luz de la mañana. Y en como se sentiran tus brazos cuando la noche madura. Nos imagino compartiendo la ducha de las 6:20, el cafe de las 9:15, el almuerzo sin ganas a mediodia y el aglomerado bus de las 4 de la tarde. Nos visualizo paseando los perros, lavando el auto, haciendo las compras y pretendiendo ir al gimnasio. Nos veo a diario discutiendo sobre si la madre en HIMYM era realmente la mujer perfecta para Ted, o hartos de los eternos cliffhangers de The Walking Dead. No me queda la menor duda de que podriamos lograrlo. Pero tienes un alma furtiva, que no se como acomodar en mi horario. No se si tratando de cautivarte puedo mas bien quebrar tus alas y convocar el efecto adverso de lo que deseo para ambos. No se si tus contras son mas pesados que tus pros, y definitivamente no creo que mi corazon este listo para sufrir otra decepcion. Por ahora, te admiro peligrosamente cerca, con estas ganas locas de tomarte entre mis brazos y asegurarte que si nos damos un chance, te voy a hacer el hombre mas feliz del mundo. Porque lo que ruge dentro mio, no es jugando.

Cerrar ciclos

A vos Que te ame con locura a pesar de tus ansias de volar libre. Que nunca me diste razones para amarte tanto. Que estuve ahi cuando mas me necesitabas sin que tuvieras que pedirlo. Que te tendi una mano amiga, compañera, amante y mas. Por vos Yo cruzaba oceanos sin siquiera pensarlo. Estaba dispuesta a cambiar mi forma de ver la vida. Solo para verla de los mismos colores y formas que vos. Yo seguia esperando, a pesar los mensajes ausentes y llamadas en espera. Pero aprendi a volar. Y vole muy lejos y muy alto. Te convertiste es un punto borroso en la vida que solia vivir. Y ahora te desconozco. No extraño tus manos tan faltas de vida. No extraño tus besos, nunca compatibles con los mios. No extraño tu pereza, tu falta de energia, el peso muerto que eras en mi espalda. Hoy soy otra. Ni siquiera me reconocerias. No necesito tu aprobacion ni tu tiempo a medias. Hoy estoy entera, libre y enamorada de esta nueva vida.

Furtivo

De que te hicieron mi vida? No se si de miel, o de escarcha Tu esencia se me hace algo parecido al camino a casa. Te veo y no me lo creo, tan fuera de lo normal y equivoco tan llena de luz tu alma. Quiero sumergir mis manos en eso que en mi desatas Esta urgencia por mirar tus ojos este antojo por tu fragancia. No se de que te hicieron pero no me quedo con las ganas Por alguna razon se posaron mis ojos en tu cara hermosa aquella mañana.

The beauty within you

You don't see the beauty within you But I do. I see the scars of your heart. It is as marred as mine. But scars makes us beautiful. They make us stand out. I see the flicker of your eyes When you stare into mine. They're bright and big and almost green. They plead an unanswered plea. A dilemma of Love lost at sea. I adore your personality, How you make me laugh without intent. It's not you trying to be funny. Is that you know how to tickle me from the inside out. And I specially melt for your warm heart For the tangle of emotions that compose your mind. For the fears and the hopes and the waiting and the must sees. You don't see the beauty within you. But I do.

Endless summer

In this endless summer, You and I should take a vow. We will go miles and miles to make each other smile. We will never be the assholes we encountered in our past. If we fight for silly things, one will kiss the other to make them shut up. And we will make love afterwards. We will kiss and laugh and call each other silly names when we rest in the couch. We will support each others ideas, even if those are a little dumb. But if they are way too dumb, we will tell each other the truth in the sweetest way there is. In this endless summer, we will learn to Love again.

The new game

You have no idea, right? Of how bad I want to see your smile, Of the electricity that runs through me when I look into your eyes Of the sadness of my mind when you go home to her. You have no clue of how long I've been waiting for the kind of light you ignate How my lips lust for yours How the wind blows when you're around. Why am I always so freaking late? Or why you couldn't wait for me. But I'm not giving up my love. I'm not the quiter kind of girl.

Utopia

Are you the prince Or are you the devil? How did you make through the wards I built, it's my question. Those doe eyes seem so pleasant and those lips are another level. Would you walk along my path, gorgeous person? I want to take you with me to heaven, tangled.

The boy with the eyes greener than a meadow in springtime

Dim the lights Hold my hand Join me in this pararell universe. Risk the world Unleash your soul Freed me from the nothing I've become. Let it go Let it be You and I can win this shit. Love me, take me, save me now. The world will remain to burn it down.

The devil's advocate

You scare me, alright? Cause I know I can't resist your little child's smile. Cause you are the reason I haven't been able to put myself together yet. Cause you have a power over me that I never meant to grant you, you understand? It's not fair that after months of lying to myself, to convince me that you were part of my past and nothing more, you come around and in a second just destroy the universe that I've built... It's not fair that a word of your mouth could turn my world upside down. You really don't deserve it but who am I to deny my true desires?

He wasn't you

I met him and decided to love him. He had your hands, his lips moved like yours, even his heart skipped a bit once in a while like yours did. But he wasn't you. No one could. I'm afraid now that I haven't stopped loving you. My boy with the darkened soul. My man with the infernal smile. My all. Can we go back in time and bet on the hardest odds again? I will wait for you. About that I'm sure.

The things we left behind

Hello love. How long it has been since the last time we looked into each other's eyes? Months? Years? Centuries? I can't wrap my head around it. When I think of all the pain that we could have save each other if only we have had stayed true to our pure instinct ... For I instance you wouldn't be mourning the lost of your son. I wouldn't be mourning the lost of my all. We might have reached level 10 in how to get to heaven by now. But you choose to walk a different path than mine. Tonight I only wish I could bury your pain in the mud. It's hard to know that after all, I might still love you.

Please God

Dear God:

I know you're somewhere out there. I can feel you on the tip of my fingers, in the sound of my voice, in the color of the sky. I need you, big time. I need to rip him of my heart. I need to go back to a time when I could laugh without pain and feel without the need to slice my wrists. I need to know that there's a future without all this bitterness. I asked you for a guy who would change my life. Maybe I wasn't clear enough. What I wanted was a guy who could change my life for good. Somehow I ended up with a boy who has indeed changed my life, but not in a good way. I have lost pieces of myself trying to find a path next to him. I bared my soul to a kind of demon that is capable of making me sick to my very core. Somebody who has drained the life out of me. That's not what I asked for. I wanted a Jace, a Stark, even a Peeta or an Edward. Please God, listen to me, because my life is running away from my fingers. I can't bear this anymore. Please sweep him away from my life, from my heart and my soul. It's too much to take in. Please God, just please...

Vienna

Slow down you crazy child

You're so ambitious for a juvenile

But then if you're so smart tell me why

Are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?

You better cool it off before you burn it out

You got so much to do and only

So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told

That you can get what you want

Or you can just get old

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine

You can't be everything you want to be

Before your time

Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)

Too bad but it's the life you lead

You're so ahead of yourself

That you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong

You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride

But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?

Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true

When will you realize

Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child

Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while

It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two

When will you realize...

Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told

That you can get what you want

Or you can just get old

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you

When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

 
**Slow down, my beautiful child, the things you're doing to try to satisfy them. Don't you realize you're breaking your heart and mine? When life says no it takes us by surprise, but hope comes and go, never emphatizes. Leave the words you can't speak aside and come and join me in our alley. When will you realize that I will wait for you?**

Skyscraper

*For those who try to make you feel like you're not worthy*

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence as it's ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like
There's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear
Yeah, oh
Go run, run, run
Yeah, it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Oh Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

How to deal with a broken heart

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worth it."
 
"You hug him good-bye like it's nothing... While all you want to do is hold on forever. But you let go, smile and walk away. Then cry all the way home, because you know it will never be the same. Because, try as you might, you can't make someone love you. Sometimes you have to let them be free. And letting go... That is when love hurts the most of all"
 
"I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone...but I was wrong, you were just too screwed up to love me"
 
"I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt"
 
"I  will never ask if you don't ever tell me, I know you well enough to know you never loved me"
 
"It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you and longer since we’ve talked. And the last thing that I said was I had nothing to say. Now I’m choking on my words. All the things I didn’t say that could have made it all ok"
 
"All that I have left of you is a broken heart and every time it beats your dead promises spill through the cracks"
 
"His smile made me want to make all his lies worth believing"
 
"They say if you love someone you should let them go, but they never say what to do when they don’t come back"
 
"I loved you; it's not that I fell out of love with you because that would be impossible.  I just couldn't handle the heartache anymore. It's not that I don't love you, it's that I can't."
 
"People always say to follow your heart but what they don't tell you…is that, just because you follow your heart, it doesn't mean there'll be a happy ending"
 
"The only thing that hurts more than a broken heart is knowing, if you had the choice to do it all over again, you would"
 
 

The boy who giggles sweet

Laugh again,

I want to hear that lovely sound once more.

Look into my soul like you're doing so well.

Ask me for the sky and I'll destroy it for you.

Let me tie a knot in the wishing tree.

Where do you come from?

Apple candy lips, eyes like the stars,

Body like a man's, heart like a child's.

Hands, arms, shoulders and neck.

Skin, muscle, fiber and blood.

I want to touch you're untouchable soul.